Last week we were hot on the trail of a way forward on our journey to live in the Netherlands. (Don’t know about this? I’ll be sharing more throughout week!) It felt like a big easy button that came out of nowhere. I saw it as an answer to prayer and I waned to jump with both feet– all in.
But after a handful of good and hard conversations, and a weekend of praying and being prayed for, the answer was unfortunately clear: “no” or “not now…not this.”
While I was thankful for a strong answer, I was frustrated by something clearly fueled by vanity: I was annoyed I was wrong and annoyed I even told people about the possibility. I felt foolish for trying to nudge open the wrong door.
There is so much fear wrapped around letting people in, allowing them to see our faults and failures, or even our questions or quests for direction. I don’t know about you, but I know I want to be seen as “has it mostly together.” I mean, via this page I let you see my humanity in a variety of ways, but there is something much more vulnerable about a misstep in life or calling, an admittance of misreading life’s signposts or misinterpreting the voice of God.
It feels safer to keep our doubts and questions and dreams to ourselves. And this week as I saw a possible opportunity, I resisted the little voice inside saying “what if this all falls through?” and instead told my prayer warriors to pray with and for us as we stepped down this path of discovery. I took a risk, and today as the answer is “no”, the enemy has whispered, “now, don’t you look foolish!”
Our tendency is to rejoice in the finalities of life—the crossed finish lines, the graduations, weddings, new jobs, babies born, etc. These events feel safe. It is easy to allow people into our completed projects, steering their eyes away from the messy journey that brought us there.
But isn’t that what true community is for? Brothers and sisters in Christ to partner with us in each doubt and question, discovery and possibility, kind of messy or super messy? I don’t see this as foolish, but wise in Kingdom strategy. Of course the enemy would rather us go it all alone—caught up in our own heads without the support and encouragement and prayer from those around us.
Next time you have a question, an idea or doubt, I want to challenge you to tell someone. Ask someone (or several someones) to pray with or for you, and to help you process everything that is going on in your head. No one expects you to have it all together, to have it all figured out (besides yourself). We are created for community—God never intended us to do life alone.
Allow people into your process. It will make the destination much more joyous when those around you understand the journey you took to get there…not only because you told them about it, but because they were there right beside you.