A few months ago I wrote the post Momming is Hard. My own mom followed up with this incredible post from a grandmother’s perspective. (She goes by Grammy 🙂 ) Enjoy!
Yes, momming is hard, but unfortunately, or maybe I should say fortunately, it never ends. I have seen the worries of a mother who is 99 years old, caring and concerned for her 78 year old daughter struggling with knee pain. I have been the recipient of that 78 year old’s concern, reminding me after back surgery that holding my own little grand baby was over my lifting limit. And I am still a concerned mom to my kids– now 27,31 and 33.
The day we become a mom, God gives us a mother’s heart, and it doesn’t have an expiration date.
For all those times when they fall and hurt themselves, (and you reprimand yourself for not holding their hand at all times!) remember that without these experiences, they won’t grow, mature, and learn to handle situations on their own. When they bump their head and look to see what your reaction is, before they cry, take a deep breath, smile and be calm, and see how they respond.
When a child learns to handle pain and disappointment, it prepares them for the bigger struggles in the next stage of life.
When sending them off to school, letting them be independent can be a struggle in itself. We want them to grow and succeed, and we especially want them to love Jesus! But as much as we want to keep them from ever being hurt, we know that some of the lessons we learned the hard way, they will have to learn also. It is our job as parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and, for some, even great-great-grandparents, to pray these little ones through every life stage. There will be times when the monster classmate is picking on your little angel, or they get left out of a birthday party.
Do your best to be strong for them. They are learning from your actions and reactions, and how you treat others.
Encouraging your child to grow into the person God created them to be can be a terrifying experience, I know! Sometimes it means letting them go work or attend college in a state halfway across the country. I thought Chicago was far enough away for my daughter, who eventually decided to move a little closer to home…and when I thought I could finally take a sigh of relief… she has a minor car accident, cashes in the insurance check, and decides to study in Europe for a semester. All the experiences which I would not have chosen for her, I KNOW were part of God’s plan for her life. As a parent I prayed for her to know and love the Lord, to have good Christian friends, and find a spouse that would cherish and love her… God answered them all, in His own way. ?
So when you are sitting in your rocking chair, looking down at that sweet little baby face– pray, pray, pray!
Pray for today, and pray for the future. And know that they are only yours on loan for a very short time.
They ultimately belong to our faithful Savior! Enjoy each and every day with them. Laugh at all their shenanigans, (even if you have to do it out of their sight because it is requiring a punishment 🙂 ) Take your parenting seriously, just not so much so that it isn’t fun. It is one of God’s greatest blessings, and goes by quicker than you think.
But most importantly, make sure you keep your marriage a priority!
Those little ones do grow up, and move on with their lives. I mean would we really want them to stay with us forever?!? I remember the day when I couldn’t wait to have them grow up and become responsible for their lives, but I also remember the day when they did, and I had to let go. As the last child walked out the door for the last time, and we truly became “empty nesters”, my husband and I were able to look at each other and laugh through the tears. We still had the one person God intended for us to cling to ~ our spouse.
My heart explodes with admiration of who my children have become. I see the strong marriages they are building (with spouses I love as my own children), the wonderful parents they have become, the work ethics they have, and the compassion they show others. And, yes, it is admiration and not pride, because none of it would be possible without the help of our Heavenly Father. So as the years pass, lessons are taught, actions are mimicked, and those little brains are recording everything they see and hear, do your best to enjoy the ride, and let your children experience the grace and peace of Jesus through your parenting and marriage.
Sure, momming is hard, but let me tell you, after 33 years– 3 kids and 7 grandkids later– it’s still worth it. It will always be worth it.
Are you a mom or grandma that has learned through joys and challenges that “momming” never ends? What advice would you give to young moms experiencing some of these feelings for the first time?